Hello Ladies...
Forgive my delay. No excuses. I'm just busy as a bee and need a clone. Thanks goodness I recently found a new assistant that can help me. I'm still training her, but I'm not quite sure how I got along without her for so long. =)
In any event, if you completed this blog, you are entitled to some fun freebies from OBG. Kindly send your contact info (and size) to info@onebrowngirl.com with Talking White in the subject line.
Since I am leaving soon for a 3 week vacation, my goal is to get your gear out to you before September 20. If I am unable to do so, I'll let you know. But please, rest assured that I will follow through with my promise; I just might need you to be a little more patient with me.
Thanks (again) for everything!
Sincerely,
Tracey
1BG
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Fini!
I can't believe 4 weeks has gone by this quickly. Wow.
Your responses to my queries have been extremely thought-provoking. I learned alot and alot was reiterated. The whole issue of "talking/acting White" has been minimized for quite some time and for some reason I feel a need to do what little I can to help children cope; even if it's just one child.
If you could do a few things for me, that would be great:
1. Please go back over your responses one last time and make any amendments you deem necessary. I have seen some answers that did not answer the question and I need as much info as possible to make this project successful. Please complete all of your responses by no later than July 24 so that you are eligible to redeem compensation for your participation.
2. Kindly provide a summary about this focus group experience and how it made you feel.
3. Are there any other coping mechanisms that you think has been left out? If so, I want to hear about it! =)
4. Join OBG on Facebook. =)
There will likely be one last posting...on Monday.
Until then...
Your responses to my queries have been extremely thought-provoking. I learned alot and alot was reiterated. The whole issue of "talking/acting White" has been minimized for quite some time and for some reason I feel a need to do what little I can to help children cope; even if it's just one child.
If you could do a few things for me, that would be great:
1. Please go back over your responses one last time and make any amendments you deem necessary. I have seen some answers that did not answer the question and I need as much info as possible to make this project successful. Please complete all of your responses by no later than July 24 so that you are eligible to redeem compensation for your participation.
2. Kindly provide a summary about this focus group experience and how it made you feel.
3. Are there any other coping mechanisms that you think has been left out? If so, I want to hear about it! =)
4. Join OBG on Facebook. =)
There will likely be one last posting...on Monday.
Until then...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chapter 14: Where to Start
Chapter 14 (the last coping mechanism) is likely going to be Chapter 1.
Chapter 1
Start with You
Even if you have never said that someone was "acting or talking White," some of us have (even if we don't do it anymore), and I think it would be fair to say that some kids have as well...even the ones that have been the victim of namecalling. Saying it can be a way for a kid to to fit in or even an unconscious remark spoken casually and obviously without much thought. There a number of inappropriate words and phrases that people use casually, aren't there? The purpose of the book is not to outwardly admonish anyone who has done so; it is simply to give people something to think about. You cannot give people insights; just stuff to think about.
So, where does this dialogue all begin? I think that first and foremost, it begins with each of us personally. You know: the whole Michael Jackson Man in the Mirror concept.
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself,
And Then Make A Change.
How we think; how we react; and how we behave is all up to us at the end of the day. What do you think? Can how we view ourselves help us cope with how the world views us?
We have been conditioned to think/believe that saying that someone talks or acts White is nothing to get upset about. The subject has been minimized; do you agree? Have you ever felt foolish for being annoyed by the thoughtless comments?
Chapter 13: Go Shopping...
Smiling...
Go Shopping...for a Mentor! is the 13th coping mechanism (snickering). Although a day at my favorite boutique does relieve a little stress and worry, that's not the message I'm trying to send. (Particularly since certain behaviors (like shopping) only relieve stress temporarily anyway, right? Maybe I'll put "Shop Til You Drop" as a subheading under the "Vent" coping mechansim; just kidding. Hehehehe.)
Did you have a mentor?
Do you believe in mentors?
What is the value of a mentor?
What kind of people are good mentors?
Do you think a mentor can help a young person cope?
Go Shopping...for a Mentor! is the 13th coping mechanism (snickering). Although a day at my favorite boutique does relieve a little stress and worry, that's not the message I'm trying to send. (Particularly since certain behaviors (like shopping) only relieve stress temporarily anyway, right? Maybe I'll put "Shop Til You Drop" as a subheading under the "Vent" coping mechansim; just kidding. Hehehehe.)
Did you have a mentor?
Do you believe in mentors?
What is the value of a mentor?
What kind of people are good mentors?
Do you think a mentor can help a young person cope?
Chapter 12: Forgiveness
I could probably post well over 1,000 quotes about the topic of forgiveness, right? Instead, and since it's feedback I'm looking for, I will ask instead that you provide me with 3 forgiveness quotes that you believe to be true.
Do you forgive the people that have taunted and teased you for saying that you talk or act White? If you have, how and why? If you have not, why not?
Are there steps to forgiveness? Or do you simply make the decision to forgive someone and it's a done deal?
Do you forgive the people that have taunted and teased you for saying that you talk or act White? If you have, how and why? If you have not, why not?
Are there steps to forgiveness? Or do you simply make the decision to forgive someone and it's a done deal?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Final Stretch
Sooo...we're in the final stretch; this is the beginning of the third week with next week being the final week. This is going by fast. I just want to say thanks again for being a part of this group. You have given me a great deal to consider...and you're a part of something that matters.
Kindly be certain that you have completed all of your responses by July 19. Have a great day!
Kindly be certain that you have completed all of your responses by July 19. Have a great day!
Chapter 11: Smiles & Laughter
Of course, we have all heard that laughter is the best medicine, and I tend to agree. Both smiles and laughter can lighten a burden, inspire hope, and simply make you feel good.
Many moons ago, I dated a famous comedian that had a pretty challenging upbringing. Like many comedians, he found a way to find humor in his own personal circumstance. I remember being extremely upset about not getting booked for a job I wanted and I fell to pieces upon hearing the bad news. I went into the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried. I was a mess. After he checked to see if I was okay (and not physically hurt), Mr. Comedian broke out into uncontrollable laughter. OMG...I was soooo insulted and hurt. He coerced me from my spot in the corner, got me to stand up and look at myself in the mirror...and (laughing now)...I looked TERRIBLE. Within seconds, we were both standing in the mirror laughing hysterically at my snotty nose, my bloodshot eyes, my runny mascara and my messed up hair. Ooooo...I looked baaaaad. That was the day (over 20 years ago) I learned to laugh at myself...and I haven't taken myself very seriously ever since. =)
With the understanding that being taunted and teased is NO FUN, can you find any humor in it?
What do you do to make yourself smile or laugh?
Do you believe that laughter is the best medicine?
Many moons ago, I dated a famous comedian that had a pretty challenging upbringing. Like many comedians, he found a way to find humor in his own personal circumstance. I remember being extremely upset about not getting booked for a job I wanted and I fell to pieces upon hearing the bad news. I went into the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried. I was a mess. After he checked to see if I was okay (and not physically hurt), Mr. Comedian broke out into uncontrollable laughter. OMG...I was soooo insulted and hurt. He coerced me from my spot in the corner, got me to stand up and look at myself in the mirror...and (laughing now)...I looked TERRIBLE. Within seconds, we were both standing in the mirror laughing hysterically at my snotty nose, my bloodshot eyes, my runny mascara and my messed up hair. Ooooo...I looked baaaaad. That was the day (over 20 years ago) I learned to laugh at myself...and I haven't taken myself very seriously ever since. =)
With the understanding that being taunted and teased is NO FUN, can you find any humor in it?
What do you do to make yourself smile or laugh?
Do you believe that laughter is the best medicine?
Monday, July 6, 2009
Chapter 10: Excellence
The 10th coping mechanism is to Continue to Excel. There is a tendency to want to "fit in" when you're young (and sometimes even as we get older) and "fitting in" sometimes means changing the way we speak, the way we dress, and (gasp!) even how we perform in school. There may be a tendency to underperform in school so as not to be singled out by teachers or bullies.
This chapter will encourage kids to continue to excel in spite of the taunting. If a child can buy in to the fact that "every attack is a cry for love in disguise," then they might be able to understand that bullies are often envious of achievement and do not always know how to articulate their feelings at such a young age. (And no, that is no excuse.)
Did you ever underperform in school just to fit in? If yes, how did it go? If not, did you ever consider it? What did you like about school? What didn't you like about school? Were you in any gifted programs? Were you teased because of it? Were you ever afraid to go to school? If you were teased by the neighborhood kids that didn't go to school with you, did you pretend like school wasn't that important?
This chapter will encourage kids to continue to excel in spite of the taunting. If a child can buy in to the fact that "every attack is a cry for love in disguise," then they might be able to understand that bullies are often envious of achievement and do not always know how to articulate their feelings at such a young age. (And no, that is no excuse.)
Did you ever underperform in school just to fit in? If yes, how did it go? If not, did you ever consider it? What did you like about school? What didn't you like about school? Were you in any gifted programs? Were you teased because of it? Were you ever afraid to go to school? If you were teased by the neighborhood kids that didn't go to school with you, did you pretend like school wasn't that important?
Chapter 9: Thank Your Parents
Another coping mechanism is to Thank Your Parent(s). In the book, on of the exercises will be for children to write a thank you note to their parent(s) thanking them for ____________.
Please write a Thank You note to your parents.
I realize that we have MANY things to thank our parents for, but when writing, please remember to stay focused on the topic of "talking/acting White."
Please write a Thank You note to your parents.
I realize that we have MANY things to thank our parents for, but when writing, please remember to stay focused on the topic of "talking/acting White."
Harrassment Stats
Here are some statistics from a 2005 report on bullying:
Two-thirds (65%) of teens report that they have been verbally or physically harassed or assaulted during the past year (2005) because of their perceived or actual appearance, gender, sexual orientation, gender expression, race/ethnicity, disability or religion.
The reason most commonly cited for being harassed frequently is a student’s appearance, as four in ten (39%) teens report that students are frequently harassed for the way they look or their body size.
The majority (57%) of students who experience harassment in school, regardless of demographics or reasons for the harassment, never report these incidents of harassment to teachers or other school personnel. Although most teachers report that they would feel comfortable intervening if they observed harassment and many say they frequently have intervened, one in ten (10%) students who do not report these incidents don’t do so because they believe teachers or staff don’t do anything or are powerless to improve the situation.
If you were harrassed at school, did you ever tell a teacher or school official? What was the outcome? Do you think children should report harrassment about "talking/acting White," or do you think complaints would be swept under the rug? Do you think people (including school officials) take the subject of "talking/acting White" seriously? If yes, how? If not, why not?
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