Chapter 4: Know Thyself
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-from William Shakespeare's Hamlet
If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
~Harvey Fierstein
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.
~Andre Gide
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
~Harvey Fierstein
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.
~Andre Gide
Being yourself and knowing yourself are very different, do you agree?
If so, why? If not, why not?
Do you agree with the quotes above?
If so, why? If not, why not?
Which one resonates with you the most?
Wow. This one is hard.
ReplyDeleteI think that as I have matured as a woman, I have continued a journey of knowing myself. For me, the knowing, is a continual evolution as I travel, meet others, face various situations, etc. What I knew about myself at age 15 changed at 18 changed at 28 and now at 38, I know a lot more. It is easier to be comfortable with being myself because of the knowledge I have gained over the years about me.
I suppose that the quote that resonates most for me is "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself".
~Harvey Fierstein
At 38, I find it easier to not be silenced because my definition of who and what I am is the result of many years of ebbs and flows that have made me strong and confident. I do believe that confidence is not a fixed trait though. Confidence, for me, has come from enduring challenges and at the end, realizing how strong I am which helps me face greater challenges. I think it's normal to question yourself and have a healthy fear of the unknown. Always being confident may be a delusion.
I agree being yourself and knowing yourself are very different, because I think you can know every single part of yourself, but anybody has the ability to lie to themselves and not being themselves completely. You can even be yourself with a small selection of people and decide to show a limited version of yourself to everyone else. Everything is possible. Therefore I don't completely agree with "This above all: to thine ownself be true,
ReplyDeleteAnd it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man." Of course it is better when you are true to yourself, but that doesn't mean everybody is and it doesn't mean that when you are true to yourself you have to be true to everybody else. I mean: I think it is for the best when you are true to yourself and when you are true to everybody else about who you are and how you know yourself. But everybody makes their own choice and everybody decides for themselves "how true" they are going to be to other people, and how well other people can know them.
Based on myself, I agree with "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not." It is so much better to know for what you stand, who you are or who you want to become and people to not like you, than to pretend and be liked. It is not all about being liked (although I think a large part of most people's lives are), it is also about knowing and accepting who you are.
I am quite young myself, so I am pretty sure I do not know myself completely (though I often form my opinions quite fast) but I know it is important to value yourself and what you stand for, and I think the most important thing for yourself is accepting who you are (with flaws and al).
I think that confidence is a very important thing in the way you want to present yourself and I think the way to get true confidence is to accept and be glad with yourself. The moment you doubt yourself, you have to be really good or people will see right through you. I also think that confidence will make you better at things, because it is a bit of a mindgame. If you believe you can, you can. If you don't have confidence in yourself, you can't.
I agree being yourself and knowing yourself are two very different things. Being yourself is based off of your perception of who you may think you are from various elements of your background (such as your childhood, family influence, peer influence, society, educational background, etc.).
ReplyDeleteIt takes many people a long time to know themselves. To know yourself, you have to reach a level of comfort, comfort in confronting all of your traits (both good attributes, but especially your faults). When you know yourself, you embrace it full-heartedly and don't apologize for it to anyone.
Fierstein's quote resonates the most with me because you truly have to live by your definition of yourself to KNOW YOURSELF. Although your environment plays a vital role in this, it is through defining yourself (through your environment and personal experiences) that you truly get to know yourself and can actually BE YOURSELF.
I feel like I'm back in college -- this one's hard!
ReplyDelete"To thine own self be true..." Being yourself and knowing yourself, are they different?
I guess to me they are different. Being myself is something I try to do everyday...but I'm also still trying to figure out who I am, what I'm doing, and is it all the right thing?
It's hard being yourself when you're stuck in between two cultures. I live and work in the South Bay of San Diego -- very near the border of Mexico. I'm a teacher and many of my students travel across the border daily to attend school (even though they're not supposed to). It's difficult and sometimes embarrassing speaking with parents who think you speak Spanish fluently. I can see the look of disappointment in their faces when my broken Spanish comes out.
With students also...it's easier if you can relate to them. So, when they ask me if I speak Spanish, I say "Yes" for two reasons. 1. maybe it'll help them relate to me a little better. I'm one of the few Latina teachers on campus.
2. they won't try to say things in Spanish that they think I can't understand.
So I guess I modify "being myself" to fit the situation.
Knowing who I truly am and what I'm meant to be or do, I think is a life-long journey with lots of self-reflection.
Being yourself and knowing yourself are very different, do you agree?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am lookng at this question cross-eyed!
I don't see the difference. Don't get me wrong, when I was younger, of course I was trying to find myself, but as you grow in life, their should not be any misconceptions between knowing yourself and being yourself. If someone has questions about the two then they are not being true to themselves. I found it much easier to be me than to be what others would like for me to be.
Being yourself (being authentic) and knowing yourself (who you are and your abilities) are very different. It is about truth. There are times when people know themselves, but choose to be something different in order to please or impress others. They aren't being themselves, and can never truly be happy living that lie. When living an authentic life, and living it to the fullest of your capabilities happiness will follow.
ReplyDeleteRecently separated, I've had to deal with a lot of things that my husband wishes to say that I am. I've told him that I am my own brand, and he cannot define me. He detests the "brand" thing, but it is true. No one would dare go to Coke and say that it tastes or looks like Sprite. They are their own brands. When you know your personal brand inside out, and exude its qualities, no one can define it for you - only you can. Funny thing, he no longer tries to say that I'm anything negative. He was using those lies to make himself feel better about his own faults. Unfortunately, he has been a great performer on the stage of life and, as a result, doesn't know himself. He's off to define his brand.
I agree with all of the quotes. You alone are your best advocate. When you don't know yourself and allow others to define who you are, you risk a grave mistake - even if they consider you to be perfect. Because of the emotional abuse I've dealt with from my husband and the voice that I've regained, the quote that has touched me the most as Brand Erika is: "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
I agree that being yourself and knowing yourself are two different things. To be yourself you are the same person no matter what. And to know yourself, to me personally, is to know what you are capable of, and sometimes that consists of not being true to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of the quotes because they are all uplifting and all about being true to yourself.
The quote that resonates with me the most is, "Never be bullied into silence". I have learned this from a personal experience. It cost me a job that I was at for six years but it was worth it. If I had to do it all over again I would.
MoniqueCB
ReplyDeleteBeing yourself and knowing yourself are very different, do you agree? I do believe that these are two different things. You see people all the time that are just being themselves, no pretense but are clueless if you ask them to who they are at their core. Being yourself may something that you are used to doing, it take little effort while knowing yourself takes quite a bit of work and often a lifetime to get there. I thought ten years ago that I knew myself and made life choices based on what I thought I knew. Come to find out I was doing what I thought others wanted of me, what was expected of me rather than what would really make me happy. I thought I knew myslef but here I am ten years later and have a very different idea of who I am and what would make me happy.I am not sad, I beleive that this was part of the journey for me. The quote that I am most drawn to is: Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. I have allowed this happen to me in the past and breeds resentment for that perosn, when ti was my fault for allwoing to happen in the first place. In my heart at the time I knew I was being bullied but did not know myself enough to knwo that I would be just fine if I did not go along and in fact would be better off if I did as I thought best. Another lesson learned.
I feel that being yourself and knowing yourself are the same. If I know myself and accept who I am, then I am comfortable in my own skin and have the freedom to be myself. The more mature I get, the more I am comfortable with myself. I let go of worrying about what others think of me and I allow my own unique light to shine!
ReplyDeleteKimMM
I have always had a love for Shakespeare. Knowing yourself and being yourself are very different, but they go hand in hand. I have always felt very different from my family. I always went along with what the group wasted, even if I was miserable. I got honest with myself and started acting accordingly. I decided that I needed to be happy. The changes I have made have confused a few people. But the way I see it, you can't have real relationships with others if you aren't real with yourself. I am a little different, I get that. I am finally ok with being me.
ReplyDeleteI love the comment by Harvey Fierstein that says, "Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." This quote resonates with me the most because I realize that I always try to please other people. I sometimes disregard how I feel for the sake of not hurting others or doing what I think someone else may not like. I believe that this quality is not so bad, but I forget about myself in the process of pleasing others. When this happens I get to the point where I wish I would have did things differently. I get overwhelmed and very frustrated with myself.
ReplyDeleteBeing oneself and knowing oneself I agree are two different things, though it is hard for me to explain what the distinctions are. I know that I am being myself these lately. However, I feel like I don't know myself all that well. I also believe that knowing oneself can help in a person being herself. It's hard for me to explain, though.
I also feel the quote by Shakespeare-
This above all: to thine ownself be true. To me it's saying, "Do you. Don't try to please others. You know what you want, so go get it!" :)
Being yourself and knowing yourself are very different. Everyday, I feel like I am myself. I don't try and pretend to be someone or something that I am not. I am genuine, real, honest, warm, and compassionate. I am who I am. However knowing yourself is different because I feel like that describes the journey that I am on. I am always getting to know myself better. I am constantly discovering that I enjoy new things and learning more about what I like to do. As I talk to people, there are times that my opinions change and I learn something different about myself as well. Knowing who I am is this constant discovery and evolution while being myself is something that I have mastered because I do it on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the quotes... I really like Andre Gide's quote the best. It is better to be hated for something you are than to be loved for something you are not because eventually you will run into people that will love and appreciate you for who you are. There will always be haters but as many people that are out there that don't like you... there are twice as many people that want to get to know you and will appreciate you for what you have to offer.
Sometimes my daughter asks me why she thinks the way she does. I know that sounds odd but it is a truly fascinating discussion. She asks me why she has opinions about things that others do not understand. She asks me why they look at her funny. I have explained to her a few times that her experiences, lessons and people around her all help create her opinion - but only she can explain and live it. She understands that her thoughts and actions are connected so she ends each conversation like this with explaining the physical experience attached (i.e. she was so happy she tingled in her cheeks) She is beginning to know herself and be herself in this world.
ReplyDeleteI believe knowing oneself and being oneself are two different things - but dependent on each other. I have always looked at it as physical (being oneself) and mental(knowing oneself). Without one - you are not balanced in life.
I smiled when I read the Harvey Fierstein quote. I agree that you must define yourself - Do not let others define you.
Yes, I agree because one may act on "feelings”; however, knowing the “how and/or why” those feelings exist understand the care of self---well that's slightly different.
ReplyDeleteWhile I could really relate to all of the quotes, the one that resonates most is Fierstein's. It is easy to fall victim, while it's more of a challenge to identify what makes one "tick."
I certainly agree that being yourself and knowing yourself are different. Knowing yourself is most likely a lifelong journey as you grow and change. However, I do believe that most people develop a good sense of self at a fairly young age. I say this because I can remember at any stage in my life (I'm now 43), that if I did or said anything that really wasn't me, I instantly realized it. I could just feel that "something" inside of myself that made me feel ashamed for being a fake or going along with the crowd. If you are honest with yourself it's easy to know yourself, but being yourself takes courage, because that means being who you are in ALL circumstances and no matter whose company you happen to be in at that time. It takes courage, but it is better than the alternative of losing yourself to fit in with a crowd or denying yourself to be accepted. "Fitting in" brings about a shame and self-loathing for me that I can't live with. That's why the quote:
ReplyDelete"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not." resonates most with me. I can handled the dislike or even hatred of others for being myself, but denying who I am for the approval of others would bring about a shame and self hatred that I cannot accept.
-Being yourself and knowing yourself are very different, do you agree? If so, why? If not, why not?-
ReplyDeleteI’ve never thought about this question…I think that “being myself” in acting in an uninhibited way – not the standard taking-off-my-top-and-dancing-on-a-table uninhibited, but behaving, acting, and thinking without a strong internal censor, especially one based on other people’s expectations or preferred standards of behavior. When I think of “knowing myself,” I imagine a person who has achieved a deep knowledge of his/her goals, desires, triggers, emotions, etc., and who has gained a level of familiarity and/or control.
-Do you agree with the quotes above? If so, why? If not, why not?-
I love the Hamlet quote, and the Andre Gide. I often hear the “to thine own self be true” part, but not the rest, which makes the passage complete, and expresses a simple, beautiful, and completely logical idea. It resonates with me the most (I want to put it in a pretty font and print it on colored cardstock and hang it somewhere in my home). The Harvey Fierstein seems to be conflating two different concepts (oppression, and sense of self), and I wish the first two sentences were said separately from the second two sentences. The Emerson doesn’t speak to me. I do like the way it makes the idea of not being true to yourself (even though it phrases “lost confidence”) a very grave situation. I guess I just feel it is a bit of a downer.