There is no way that I can complete this project without insights from professional child psychologists. According to Dr. Towne, a child psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, "We all go through phases of dealing with our racial/ethnic identity either as the accuser or as the accused."
“As people of color, we often struggle with how we see ourselves and how well we relate to other members of our racial or ethnic group. Children in particular do whatever they must to avoid feeling marginalized. They know, sometimes instinctively, other times by personal experience (but mostly reminded by members of the dominant group and/or dominant culture) that they can never be White. Yet, they must find ways to become accepted by a dominant group that requires them to check their heritage and culture at the door, and by their own group that despises such a request. Children experience great pain and emotional distress navigating and negotiating between these worlds just to find themselves rejected by both. That is what it means to be marginalized. It is hard for a child to succeed in life without feeling marginalized at some point during their development. There is a fear of both losing one’s self and finding oneself.”
“As people of color, we often struggle with how we see ourselves and how well we relate to other members of our racial or ethnic group. Children in particular do whatever they must to avoid feeling marginalized. They know, sometimes instinctively, other times by personal experience (but mostly reminded by members of the dominant group and/or dominant culture) that they can never be White. Yet, they must find ways to become accepted by a dominant group that requires them to check their heritage and culture at the door, and by their own group that despises such a request. Children experience great pain and emotional distress navigating and negotiating between these worlds just to find themselves rejected by both. That is what it means to be marginalized. It is hard for a child to succeed in life without feeling marginalized at some point during their development. There is a fear of both losing one’s self and finding oneself.”
Any comments?
I agree with the statement that a child needs to feel marginalized at some point during their development to succeed. I think this is very true. I think it is true for adults and children alike. I have found that you often build and find your true character in dealing with the challenges that life throws at you. It is very rare that one grows as a person having a carefree life. It is in the challenges, the struggles in which you grow and develop charachter. It is this characteror the skills sets that you have acquired that will propel you towards succces. Once you have felt the discomfort of a situation and have learned to move past it. You take those skills with you and they prove to be the skills that aid one in being successful.
ReplyDeleteThis again reminds me of how we tend to ascribe certain behaviors or ways of relating to others as either Black or White. As an educator, I see that young people feel marginalized when they are not allowed to express themselves as unique individuals. When it becomes clear that the way that a young person expresses themselves is not "en vogue" many young people then are left feeling marginalized. As adolescence involves the search for identity, youth try on different identities to see what fits. They should be free to explore this without fear of repercussion; unfortunately their peers can be ruthless in insisting that they fit in with everyone else.
ReplyDeleteKimMM
I LOVE what Dr. Towne says! I completely understand and agree. I've often felt marginalized by both sides of my culture as I've described in other posts...
ReplyDeleteBecause it was so difficult for me to cope I've made some conscious decisions for my own children. One of them is moving to an area that is predominately Latino. I live in a small border town next to San Diego. My kids hear Spanish everywhere--the grocery store, McDonalds, etc. It's just normal, nothing to be embarrassed about. I've also enrolled them in a private school that has mostly students who travel from Tijuana each day.
I want them to be in a setting where THEY are the majority. All the smart kids look like them and rooting for Mexico in a soccer match is just something that everyone does.
Hopefully this will make them feel empowered when they go to college and around lots of white kids that may look down upon them...they won't have all the baggage that I did.
I think that all humans go through phases of identity. Whether it be racial, gender, etc. It's rites of passage, figuring out who you are and who you want to be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of the comments above. Life is all about figuring out who you are, learning to love who you are, and working on becoming the best person that you can be. Although I'm not one hundred percent sure that you have to be marginalized in order to be successful... I think its possible to grow up in an environment where you are accepted and don't have to work hard to fit in and turn out to be okay. Interesting topic though... eager to see the rest of the thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about being marginalized. Yes, you do have to learn to "fit in where you can get in", but that can be a slippery slope. As long as you feel that you have not lost yourself, do what you need to do. Fitting in and blending in are two very different things.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is quite insightful. I'm conflicted, while I do not think that I had to be marginalized to suceed--I do know that related challenges pushed me to succeed. I agree with KimberlyAC in that ths can be a "slippery slope" and a person must be strong in his/her core (which for me is my faith).
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is hard for a child (especially a child of color) to succeed without feeling marginalized. As you continue to achieve or reach goals of success, you are excluded by the dominant group with constant reminders that you are not white, and unfortunately as we have discussed here many times you are excluded by the minority groups by comments that you are acting white.
ReplyDeleteChildren need to feel a sense of belonging, so for a black child feeling excluded by the dominant group and the minority group, there is an increased degree of marginalization. It is this type of situation that may lead a child to seek ways to enhance their sense of self esteem and belonging.
Sadly sometimes children turn to gangs, early sexualy activity and some end up being teen parents. This is why I feel so strongly that the issue of "talking/acting" white needs to be brought to the forefront.
We cannot change the thinking of other groups until we change our own thinking. If children are marginalized by their own groups by accusations of "trying to be white", their confidence and sense of identity is shaken, leaving them ill prepared to deal with the exclusion they may face by the dominant group.
I agree that challenges help to develop character. They are, in fact, a necessary part of learning who you are and what your limitations may be. It is unfortunate for a child to deal with being described as "acting white or talking white" as one of their challenges in the midst of forming that identity.
ReplyDeleteI feel I need more context, or a larger part of the passage this is from. I don’t know what Dr. Towne means by the terms “accuser” and “accused” in the first paragraph – racism? Loathing? Not sure. The doctor also seems to be saying that the experience of marginalization is central to a child’s successful development…that’s an interesting, but painful, idea. I hope that’s not true. And how does it work for a dominant group to remind you that you’re not a part of it – if you weren’t raised with or around the dominant group? Sorry, this response is probably really muddled – just my lack of understanding of some of the concepts in this topic.
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