The next coping mechanism is to Create a Dialogue. By creating a dilalogue in a non-confrontational way, it might possibly disarm the person tossing around the verbal insults, provoke insights, and might even possibly be a catalyst for change. Do you believe that to be true? If so, why? If not, why not? How would you create a dialogue? Kindly provide 10 soft non-confrontational responses to "You act/talk like a White girl." And then provide 5 candid responses (you know, what you'd REALLY like to say). LOL. And please don't look at the other comments BEFORE you give your responses. It's more fun that way...Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Chapter 6: Create a Dialogue
The next coping mechanism is to Create a Dialogue. By creating a dilalogue in a non-confrontational way, it might possibly disarm the person tossing around the verbal insults, provoke insights, and might even possibly be a catalyst for change. Do you believe that to be true? If so, why? If not, why not? How would you create a dialogue? Kindly provide 10 soft non-confrontational responses to "You act/talk like a White girl." And then provide 5 candid responses (you know, what you'd REALLY like to say). LOL. And please don't look at the other comments BEFORE you give your responses. It's more fun that way...
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I'm not sure which ones would create a dialgue. Personally, I write about identity (Master's Thesis, poetry, etc) which highlights a sort of dialgue to make people think. I do believe that when people learn more, they can change their thinking.
ReplyDelete10 soft non-confrontational responses to "You act/talk like a White girl:
1. Thank you
2. What does a white girl act/talk like exactly?
3. I just try to be myself
4. I've never heard that before
5. You are so funny
6. Compliments will get you no where
7. Really?
8. I do speak several foreign languages
9. No Capisco
10. I never did really mind the small things
5 candid responses (you know, what you'd REALLY like to say).
1. How long have you been off your medication?
2. Ignorance sure is bliss. Isn't it?
3. Speaking intelligently and acting like a lady is not indigenous to white girls
4. Have you been stupid all your life or is this a new phase in your life?
5. Go to H*el!
I believe that the way a person receives your response to create a dialogue depends on that persons actual intentions on saying their comment in the first place. If that person was saying it to be spiteful, my dialogue would prolly cause more attitude or confrontation. I would create a dialogue asking the person, "In what ways?" "What does that mean?" or "What makes you say that?"
ReplyDeleteThese are my 10 soft non-confrontational responses to "You act/talk like a white girl!"
1. Oh, you really think so?
2. I get that all the time!
3. I know!
4. *LoL*
5. What does that mean?
6. Oh okay.
7. Hmm, that's interesting.
8. Thanks for telling me!
9. Aww man!
10. No girl, I'm all black!
Mt 5 candid responses:
1. Your point is??
2. And you say that to say what?
3. Shut up!!
4. And what do you sound like?
5. Whaat? O-Kay! Whatever that means!
It really depends on who is making the comments but I will give it a try.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, what would be ten soft responses:
1. What do you say that?
2. What did I say that would reminded you of something a white person says?
3. Is it the proper use of grammar, or my inflection?
4. Have you been around many white poeple or black people different from you?
5. You really think so, that is interesting.
6. Thank you.
7. I never looked at it that way.
8. That is your opinion.
9. I was taught to speak proper english, I did not know that was the same as speaking white.
10. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.
Now my real responses:
1. Get out of my face and grow up.
2. You are too sad a person to even explain how wrong you are on this subject.
3. Go to Hell.
4. Get a Life.
5. As long as I do not sound like you, I am good.
If someone tells me I act/talk like a white girl I most often say (they are not all really "soft", but it is just what I say most often):
ReplyDelete1. Thank you (because it is, after all, a compliment, sort of).
2. I AM born here, yes.
3. What do you mean ?
4. Okay (...).
5. Really?
6. Yes, my parents have taught me well.
7. When a brown/Indian person tells me that I often respond by saying something like that it doesn't make me less Indian.
8. So you don't meet a lot of brown people ?
9. Haha (...).
10. Well, that's a first! (sarcasm)
My candid responses:
1. What makes you say that?
2. Do you feel better now you've said that?
3. Oh please, just go away.
4. I wish I hadn't met you.
5. I don't like people like you.
By creating dialogue, I think it can disarm SOME people, but then again unfortunately, some individuals are more ignorant than others and no matter what you do to make sense of things, it will never make sense.
ReplyDelete10 Positive Responses
1) Thank you very much.
2) Really? Seriously?
3) I take that as a compliment.
4) God bless you, Jesus loves you too!
5) What does that mean exactly?
6) I beg your pardon?
7) I guess those undergraduate and graduate loans were worth it.
8) So, I guess that means you don't want to go that Keith Urban concert with me...
9) So, how does one "speak Black"?
10) I would love to hear about how you came to this conclusion.
5 Negative Responses
1) You are ignorant as hell!
2) You suck at life.
3) What the hell is that supposed to mean?
4) Don't hate because I have a grasp on the English language and you don't.
5) I don't "talk White", I "speak proper English"; jerk!
"Soft Responses"
ReplyDelete1. White is a mere interpretation of my speech pattern, however, I don't believe that I would classify it in that manner.
2. Your comment made me feel uncomfortable. Can we talk about this please?
3. That's interesting. Can you elaborate on that statement please?
4. Do I remind you of someone in particular?
5. People have told me that I have a geographically-based dialect instead of a racial/ethnic one... why do you think its a racial one?
6. Where are you from? I actually love the way that you talk. (Perhaps a little flattery can go a long way)
7. Thank you. You say white, I say creme de la creme... (just kidding, now I'm hoping the humor will lighten the mood)
8. How did you come to this conclusion?
9. I am just being myself.
10. Do you often tell people that they speak white? If so, how do they normally respond to those type of comments?
Candid Responses (as a disclaimer... I would actually use the soft responses because I agree that healthy dialogue can have a powerful impact in someone's life and provoke change)
1. Yo mama
2. You really did not just say I talked white... I am not the one
3. What made you really say that?
4. You are kidding me right?
5. Silence is golden...
non-confrontational responses:
ReplyDelete1. Can you tell me specifically what actions are reserved for whites or blacks, and what is it exactly about my speaking that sounds "white"?.
2. Is that something you were taught, or do you really believe that to be true? If you believe it, can you explain it?
3. How would I need to speak or act to sound like a black girl instead of a white girl?
4. Do you believe that all black people should act and speak the same? What about white people?
5. Do you intentionally speak a certain way to ensure that you sound black?
6. I was raised to use proper grammar and enunciate when I speak; do you see a problem with that? If so what?
7. Do you or will you make sure your children don't sound white when they speak? How will you go about this?
8. I love all music and literature; it's a shame you limit your knowledge and exposure in an effort to be accepted by others.
9. THANKS! don't forget I also talk/act like a black girl, hispanic girl, etc, and can relate to any other "girl" that is a member of the human race.
10. Don't you feel comments like that are an attempt to put blacks and other minorities in a perpetual state of inferiority? Your comments perpetuate the belief that anything proper is reserved for whites.
Candid responses:
1. You talk like an ignorant person.
2. Do you believe your manner of speaking is a compliment to black folks?!
3. This just in...proper grammer is not reserved for white girls...you can get on board at any time.
4. You should really get a mind of your own and stop repeating stupid things you hear.
5. I talk and act like myself..get with it or get gone.
Non-Confrontational Responses:
ReplyDelete1. What does that mean?
2. How can that be so, if I'm not white?
3. Really?!?
4. Exactly how do ALL white girls talk?
5. Thank you.
Candid:
1. Since when is proper grammar reserved for white people?
2. Do you know how ignorant that sounds?
3. I can speak Ebonics, Japanese and French too.
4. Please move beyond the slave mentality.
5. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all.
I believe that creating a dialogue can be a wonderful way of inspiring insight and disarming the person tossing out insults. However, you have to have an audience that is open to listening to what you have to say.
ReplyDelete1. You use more slang than I do. Did you suddenly get darker?
ReplyDelete2. Ebonics is for lazy people.
3. I do my best not to live up to stereotypes.
4. Why are you limiting yourself?
5. I happen to love the King's English.
Also, both my mother and father are teachers. This is the way I was taught. I try to be patient with others, but that can only last so long...
Yes, I believe to a certain extent being proactive in education is often times better with a person who is willing to listen. However, at times it was quite challenging to be "soft non-confrontational" with a person who just wanted to remain ignorant in his/her own knowledge (or lack thereof).
ReplyDeleteTop 10 Soft Responses:
1. You know, I get that often. Would you like to learn a little bit more about me?
2. Well, I am just trying to utilize what I learned in our English class.
3. Really? Please share your thoughts as to why you feel so?
4. Could you define what "acting/talking white" means, please?
5. I am just trying to utilize "proper English" my grandmother taught me.
6. Would you be able to help me with the proper usage of the English language? (Really, I said this and it was NOT a try at "clowning" the receiver. I was trying to gain insight as to how I was supposed to speak.)
7. What do you mean?
8. I'm really just acting the way I was brought up. Could you tell me a little bit about your background?
9. Thank you, I LOVE diversity!
10. Thank you.
...however, what I would have liked to have said is as follows (candid):
1. Get out of my face.
2. Wow, I'm glad you're sooo interested in the way I talk/act. You must REALLY like me to make such a comment:-)
3. Well, if this is what's talking/acting white is, explain to me how both of my birth parents are black?
4. Do you have any home training?
5. My, is that what you think? You should really sue your school district, because they have failed you in both areas of history and English.
-Do you believe that to be true? If so, why? If not, why not?-
ReplyDeleteI think that dialogue and engagement is a great idea, but you have to be willing to hear and accept the person’s point of view…and not just use dialogue as a tool to hopefully “convert” them to not saying these things about you. Can you tell I’ve been reading Stephen Covey, LOL? “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
-How would you create a dialogue?-
I would try to be as neutral and unemotional as possible. And I’d probably even speak softly – raised voices create tension and suggest an argument.
-My soft non-confrontational responses-
Why do you say that?
What do you mean?
I don’t know about that, but do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?
What does a white girl sound like to you?
Do you know other folks who sound like me?
I actually don’t think that’s true. I tend to think that black people sound all kinds of ways, all over the world. What do you think?
Wow, I haven’t heard that in a long time. Kids used to tease me about that. It really hurt my feelings.
5 candid responses
I don’t sound/act like a white girl. I just sound like me.
Really?! That’s what you come at me with? What are we, 12?
And what do you sound like – an idiot?
I can’t talk like a white girl, since I’m NOT ONE.
Actually, I don’t speak like a white person. I speak better than most white people. [Paraphrased from record executive Bill Stepney, in a PBS special with Larry Elder I saw once. I never forgot it!].